I’ve been thinking about confidence and joy lately Confidence exists not as some innate trait, but a tool you hone by telling the truth about who you are and acting like you mean it. There is a real freedom in being earnest without flinching at imagined judgement. Joy tends to hitch a ride on this. This can show up in surprising ways, like gym selfies on main - or dancing out of rhythm - or being emotionally honest to a fault - or lip-sync videos in the car - or being way too candid in a caption that reads like a journal. Mortifying in theory, but liberating in practice. I planned to write about that. Still am I guess. But then life did its thing. I got rejected. Nothing serious. And not exactly the point. Just two people on different wave lengths. The ‘confidence —> joy’ arc took an instantaneous hit. It took a day to recalibrate. I remembered that confidence isn’t a trait. It’s a bit of borrowed, imagined bravado you pick up until the real thing shows up. I hit the gym, focused on work, revisited this writing. And then there it was again. And working out how to summon it? Invaluable. 

Joy follows too, just a bit quieter and steadier. But still present.