In “gay culture”, body standards can feel brutal. Big, muscular guys have worked hard for their physiques — it’s not magic, it’s discipline. Two truths exist: 1. It’s tough feeling unwanted because you don’t look like that. 2. But anyone can work toward it — it just takes effort most aren’t willing to give. If you want better, you have to be better. Those gym guys often want someone who matches their lifestyle and discipline, not someone who hasn’t put in the work. That said, even knowing this, I wouldn’t hit the gym just to attract someone else. I’d have to do it for me — for my own pride and growth. Not for validation. And right now, I’m okay with where I am.