I’m pursuing bottom surgery as part of my gender journey, while still largely presenting masc. It’s something I’ve been feeling for a while, but it’s still scary to admit — even on an app full of queer people. After years of therapy, years of denying how I feel, years of impostor syndroming my nonbinary-ness, I’m finally reaching out to surgeons in an attempt to feel whole. I’ve felt very genderfuck/genderqueer for years, but growing up with a southern, redneck family who violently hated trans people and had to be handheld into even accepting my marriage, I really had a difficult time letting myself even acknowledge this part of myself. But after years of wall building, years of bad sex, years of hating what I’ve got hanging between my legs it’s finally time to live for me. And I’m proud of myself for being able to say that out loud. I know I’m queer, and it’s not for someone else to tell me how I should feel most at home in my own body.