Sure you can post but some take it to the extreme, like that’s it? Your body is your only contribution to a personality ? It’s a bit sad.

@lav I agree, it’s sad when anyone makes one thing their whole personality. And yes, it’s not hot if the only good thing about a guy is their body. But I think each point still applies. My comment is about those who take it upon themselves to label, criticise and disparage those people without ever knowing them.

@jason. Yeah, I get that. But just a thought: I hope that people who seek validation for their physical attributes understand that they are more than their bodies and that bodies fade, but minds are forever. It’s important to note that our community aggressively promotes limited beauty standards and tokenizes masculinity from a rigid internalized homophobic perspective.

@lav totally agree, bodies fade… a persons character is much more important. But, it’s presumptuous to think that everyone posting the kind of pics in question is looking for validation. Ofc, that happens and is a reason why people do it, sure, we’re not naive. But it can also be to celebrate their bodies, features and attributes, which is beautiful and shouldn’t be discouraged. I disagree with the idea that our community promotes a limited beauty standard. Again, I see where you’re coming from, and it can be taken to the extreme, sure. But I’ve seen a variety of body types shared and promoted here. Some of which, aren’t my type or my preference, but I certainly don’t take to publicly judging them and accusing them of toxic behaviour. The point is, those that are criticising people on this app for posting lots of shirtless pics or whatever do so with judgement and intensity. Which is the opposite of what this app is intended to be. And, frankly, is just as toxic as the behaviour they’re decrying.

@lav thanks for engaging in the conversation though 🫶 A worthwhile conversation for sure

I loved reading this exchange between you two. Both valid points and y’all were respectful ✨✨✨✨

@jason. My pleasure 💞

I think most of us are aware that a person is more complex or different than the stuff they post on their social media accounts. I think the “intensity” is something you read into these comments and if you want something free of judgement you should go offline. There will always be judgement - otherwise people would curate their profile so much. Even the ones that wanna make it look like it’s not curated.

@cupid I hope that’s the case, some of the posts I’ve seen related to this present otherwise, but let’s give them a benefit of the doubt 😌 Call me idealistic, but I think this app could be a place for the diverse expressions of our sexuality to freely and openly be shared. Even those we might not like, relate to or understand. Of course, there will naturally be judgement and critique. We’re human. But I’m talking idealistically, and I still think it’s something to strive towards.

@lennybrusse Who is violating the guidelines by expressing their opinion about nude selfies?

@lennybrusse oh, no of course, if a post violates the guidelines here it should be taken down. I think that’s a separate issue to what I’m speaking about. This post was a comment about the comments I’d been seeing here about people complaining that Collective was being overrun with shirtless pics (not nudity) and that this shouldn’t be the case. The tone, in my opinion, of these posts were overly critical, judgemental and negative.

💯 💞

pls and thnk u