Ahmad (@ahmd) • Collective gay friends app

Ahmad @ahmd

📍New Jersey / 1993 Container of multitudes. Makes a good matcha.

My phone is so dry, you don’t need rice. Just put it near mine...

(I may start buying myself flowers)

Need a Balkan man lowkey.

Me @ the last two episodes of Castlevania: Nocturne. Literally sobbing over these gay vampires...

I want to get into scrapbooking, because it’s the closest thing I can do to make my life into a work of art.

I don’t understand the point of couple-instagrams/social media profiles. Is it just to get famous? Why do people care when it’s a union vs individual? I think reality tv put us on a downward spiral. True tea.

Has anyone done the sauna experience @ Bathhouse Flatiron?

Honey I’ll bring the coffee, if you’ll bring the wine.

Baby, I’m fine to leave you in a past life.

Feet don’t fail me now. Take me to the finish line. Oh, my heart it breaks every step that I take. But I’m hoping at the gates, they’ll tell me that you’re mine.

Do you think it’s weird that a straight man would be uncomfortable with you (a gay) being very close to his wife? Like never mind that you’ve known each other for more than half of your lives, and he’s the new character in the video game.

Crying tears of gold, like lemonade.

I love living in a place where everyone is practically a senior citizen and/or geriatric, and when I do see someone my age out in the wild it’s like coming across a zoo animal. Makes me feel so wonderful. 🩵

If you knew better, boy, you would do better. Ain’t nobody like me.

What shall I do on this glorious Sunday?

Friend’s review of me: Absolutely gorgeous. Beautiful heart. The purest soul, that purest that it could possible be, on earth. Beautiful personality. Such a giver.

I looked dangerously cute and smelled absolutely angelic today </3

Welcome back, Ava Max

Thinking of her

This song, unironically, helped me process a lot about myself. I could no longer ignore the ivy growing tall, that life didn’t suit me anymore. The writing was on the wall.

Do you believe it is unethical to have children in this day and age?

If doctor’s offices charge fees for late arrivals, patients should be compensated for late start times. 40 mins at the optometrist waiting room. And I’m starving 💔

God, im so bored. Lacking multiple forms of stimulation and suffering from ennui.

Ethel Cain hated my instagram post *birds appear at the window*

Ethel Cain hated my instagram post. Thought it was cute reinacting’ my honeymoon pose.

I want blood, guts, and angel cake. I wanna be a real fake.

Tech gays: where can I sell my Logitech K860 and rollerball mouse? I need to go back to the Wave

If he sexy he plankin on me

L-l-lights, camera, action

Kinda want to rent a bf for the holidays. Complete with a meet cute backstory, matching outfits, and a dramatic breakup. I can pay in cookies.

Apple picking soon.💔

Another pet peeve of mine (and my best friend) is when someone says “I wish I had a partner” and someone (USUALLY PARTNERED) says “you need to love yourself first”. Like, who said they didn’t love themselves? Are we saying that being in a partnership is to abandon one’s sense of self?

One of my biggest pet peeves of all time is when someone says “give that marketing team a raise” or “this is a MASTERCLASS in xyz” Like omfg ☠️