Is it possible that dating just... sucks because it’s human?
I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to date. I think we’ve just made the whole thing feel like a moral test — if you text too slow, you’re unavailable; if you text too much, you’re needy. But most of the things people get frustrated about happen in the first week or two of meeting someone, when both sides are just observing, figuring out chemistry, and deciding what fits. It’s not wrong — it’s trial and error.
Dating feels terrible because it’s the action of trying to connect, and that alone goes against how real connection usually happens — organically. Think about your best friendships: they probably didn’t start with strategy, they started with energy, timing, or chance. But now dating happens in the most inorganic spaces possible — apps, DMs, schedules, algorithms. It’s no wonder it feels awkward.
And yes, communication matters — but so does capacity. Sometimes people vanish, and sometimes they circle back two weeks later and it actually means something. That doesn’t make them evil; it makes them human.
We’re so focused on finding “the one” that we forget to just have fun, stay curious and enjoy the process.
