the best thing about wearing a mask during your flight is that it catches your saliva if you drool in your sleep

the Apple autocompletion needs to srsly tone it down a notch, I'm just a lil "omw" usually, not "On my way!", like I'm never on that level

it saddens/shocks me how music, too, is simply math and physics 🫠

what kind of a male shakes his protein shake like a cocktail shaker at the changing room in the gym 🫨

i can't quite put a finger on it but something about post-2022 Olivia Dean releases sound smh less mature than her early EPs and singles

i think the worst UX crime ever might be when your text-searched emojis don't automatically go into your recently used - like im so sick of having to repeatedly type eye eye lips if i wanna react with 👁️👄👁️

i think leftover oats that dried in a bowl might be the toughest material known to humankind (on earth)

what were your favorite whimsy vacation reads this year?

im beginning to realize that my so-called humor might just be me saying unhinged stuff with a straight face 😐