To be completely honest, I don’t know why I’m so attracted to bigger men let alone mature (older guys* but you know what I mean ;) men, mentally I am just in a state of pure confusion most times but then the moment I see a guy I’m like wait actually I want that. Like I want all of that. Maybe I’m just too feral for this world or maybe I just haven’t found a great show to watch ☝️🫩🌈 and that’s all I have for today’s entry.

I feel like I’ve been conflating a lot of emotions recently that don’t necessarily need to be as becoming as they seem to be. I’ve been doing mental gymnastics pretty much with myself over a number of things I find as “problems” but I think in reality they are not. It can get pretty confusing trying to differentiate actual depressed feelings* from just basic day to day feelings we go through. I’m not sure if I’ll ever will, it feels depression is just gonna be there with me for the rest of life and all I can do is minimize its impact on myself. I’ve rather have been optimistic though as of late, and I think right now I’m trying to find a balance that is healthy for me but also I can find some groundwork to tackle these big or small issues I’ll inevitably come face to face with, I think I’m growing as a person but also grieving in a sense. I feel happy for myself.

Found out it’s world Aids day, and I want to take the time to appreciate those especially the queer women who helped out tirelessly to give gay men the best possible chance of care during the aids crisis while these men were pushed away from the general public. Queer women whom some weren’t even nurses still took it upon themselves to help out these very sick people during a time of mass stigmatization and hysteria over a pandemic that could have been less harmful if the administration of that time didn’t blindly look away from those calling for action needed sick or healthy, so please take it upon yourself to say thank you to any and all queer women in hospice, or any that care for us because they too are apart of our collective history therein and after and belong in our spaces as well so don’t take them for granted.

Your girlie weighed in at 230 like wtf?!? I thought I had lost some pounds but no I’m a little thicker I guess 🙄 some of you can’t even lift that heavy tbh 🤭 anyways boycott Spotify they promote ICE ads on their platform on top of not paying their artist they profit off of their rightful dues tbh which is cringe to be fair. Anyways I hope you gays have a lovely day 🤍

Turns out I lack vitamin D and I’m actually chronically fatigued bones an all (not a joke) but we are on D3 supplements so life is good ☝️🫩 for now. I was gonna complain about my lonely ass but bounced back and realized it’s not all that and I’m actually enjoying just being myself no drama no worries just me and my hobbies I was gonna make a joke but ya’ll just don’t get me really and that’s the truth (coming from a Libra)