Lately I’ve been thinking about what it really feels like to grow...

Lately I’ve been thinking about what it really feels like to grow older. Not in a dramatic way, just noticing how my face is slowly changing with time. Small things in the skin, in the expression, in the way I recognize myself. And somehow that’s harder than I expected. I think it feels even stronger in the gay world, where everyone looks good, where people really take care of themselves and appearance matters a lot. It makes it very easy to start questioning yourself, like you have to keep up or fix something before it’s too late. But at the same time, when I see people trying too hard to erase every sign of time, it feels like they slowly lose something real, something that made them look like themselves in the first place. I don’t want to turn this into a fight. I still want to take care of myself, but not from fear. I just want to be able to look in the mirror and recognize who I am, even as things change. I guess no one really tells you how to deal with this part. How do you deal with it? How do you feel about it?

akai

Just completed my spontaneous 72 hours no food fasting (only water) 🍽️❌ My longest autophagy experiment so far. Day 1 was the most unfamiliar. A bit hangry here and there. Day 2 my head got really clear and I could work well. The obvious part I didn't see coming: I train a lot, so there's always this calculation running about getting enough protein in. For three days it was just gone. That felt freeing. Whats your experiece with longer fast? What stuck with you afterwards and did you archive any specific goals?

hidden

That fine line between taking care of ourselves and remaining true to ourselves. We can do it ✌️

5 months

aboutvlntn

@cstg. Yeah, exactly. Still figuring out that balance

@willeeyahm I guess that’s the point, not turning it into a fight. I’m really glad that line resonated. Thank u

aranha

You look really young and have a great attitude, knowing clearly that erasing aging signs is not an authentic solution to growing old. The truth is that growing old is beautiful and resistance to it leads to unhappiness and living the wrong life in the wrong moment… So live on, unapologetically! You may end up with less lovers and less friends, but at least you’ll know they’re real! Growing old is 😍 ❤️

@aranha think there’s a lot of truth in that. I’m still figuring it out, but staying real matters more to me than trying to fight time. And honestly you look great, so I’m curious how you approach it yourself? more natural or do you use any treatments?

Hey thanks 🙏🏽 I take care of myself, don’t drink or do anything in excess, eat well and have a good night of sleep every evening! And when you sleep, holding the person you love, keeps you happy to grow older together 😍❤️😍

@aranha Okay, That sounds like a perfect lifestyle. But you’re setting the bar a bit too high for me🤣 my work doesn’t really allow me to sleep like a normal person, there’s no one to hold at night (yet), and I do love my wine 😄

It’s only natural to grow old, it can be a lot in the gay world for sure, but the way I see it the person you end up with is the one who will love you as you are and have that reciprocated, the only thing we can do is take care of ourselves, love fully and never settle for less because we are worthy of love

greginsweden

The most important thing is showing up for yourself. Consistency with training, clean foods, moderate alcohol, sleep, water. But most important: moisturize! Face and body! I’m a few years ahead of you and I can promise that you will age well if you take care of yourself. And people will see you for the man you become, not who you have been

bps

One of the biggest challenges in life is accepting things as they come. Fighting something you can’t change will make it worse. Living consciously, enjoying what life has to offer, and aging gracefully is sexy. Whether you’re gay or straight, male or female. Loving yourself is the key regardless of age. I also appreciate people in my life who set examples of how to age with grace. Learning from them while charting my own course makes the journey a lot richer. 🙌🏼

theartfulroger

Don’t fight it, roll with it. Aging is often just the outer shell, not the inner mind. Keep challenging yourself and enjoying every day as much as you can, don’t sweat the small stuff. Lots of good advice in the other responses too.

jae-

Largely what’s at the heart of this discussion is a societal construct the prioritises and values youth. For me, it’s about letting go of what the ‘system’ expects or demands and returning again and again to myself. The bigger and more important truth is that every human is amazing, every body is beautiful. Finding and connecting with that part of me where I know that to be true is what helps me as I age (I’m almost 57). Every day is an opportunity (and it’s not always easy) to simply be grateful for my body, my face, my bones, my skin, my senses. Living with that awareness is so much fucking better than clinging to someone else’s idea of who I should be or some ideal to which I should apparently align. Doing the work to connect more fully to my mind, body and spirit is what has served me well.

impaulofilho

I take care of myself but won’t deny the signs of aging. I like who I see in the mirror because I can recognize their heart and their passion. I guess that’s what keeps you afloat in this world, specially being gay.

4 months

justkp

“I think it feels even stronger in the gay world, where everyone looks good” - this. I left this contest ages ago. I don’t want to be another clone of the same standards. As long as you’re making the changes for yourself, go for it. If you’re worried about not fitting in or what other people might think, it could be a more painful and unsatisfying route longing for acceptance that either never comes or will be too fragile. Do what you can for you and love yourself - that’s the way I see it. I don’t give much thought to the more superficial sides of the ‘community’ anymore.