theartfulroger

Just get into deeper chats, find common ground, make the effort to keep in touch! But you can’t force a friendship, has to be mutual interest and respect.

Reply ●● 4 months

justkp

@theartfulroger By nature, I feel quite confident in deeper conversations, but keeping in touch only really works for me when it moves beyond repetitive “what’s up / how’s your day” messages and includes follow-up questions or something more meaningful. So far, mutual interest and respect have been the biggest challenge, usually on the other side.

Reply ● 4 months

theartfulroger

@justkp then they’re not the ones!

Reply ● 4 months

die

Talk about mutual interests and/or meet in person!

Reply ● 4 months

theartfulroger

@die Difficult when so often they live far away in other countries!

Reply 4 months

die

@theartfulroger well i ment locals and people in the area! Making friendships from scratch while living in different countries is not easy, but not impossible either

Reply 4 months

theartfulroger

@die So often I find the people I really connect with are abroad, that’s my experience

Reply ● 4 months

justkp

@die I feel like it’s not necessarily down to my actions - I share my interests and arrange meet-ups with people easily (I’m a recruiter, scheduling is my super-power 🤣). It’s more that our expectations don’t align in terms of the connection quality itself. Also, I find it hard to build anything with someone who only has something dismissive to say about my interests or even belittle them - I’ve had that a few times already. Those people were definitely not for me. But I’m not giving up just yet haha

Reply 4 months

die

No, of course it’s not just you. A relationship is two sides, you can’t or shouldn’t be the one making all the effort. But staying true to your values and interests goes a long way. From my experience, most of my friends are people i spent a lot of time with. In a career, a job or whatever. That’s what built the confidence and quality. I think online relationships are harder, more volatile or maybe even shallow. Unless there’s like a really good given chemistry or mutual interest, it’s tougher. But just be you and whoever’s for you will come. “Don’t chase, attract!” ;)

Reply ●●● 4 months

justkp

@die Agree, especially on the online relationships part. Since I spend most of my time with work, I tend to have quite a few work-friends, but sadly that’s a double-edged sword if things turn sour. It can mess with your overall existence. I love the “Don’t chase, attract” bit. It may be disheartening at times, but being yourself is the best people filter you can ask for, I find ❤️

Reply ●●● 4 months