Queer culture spends a lot of time talking about chosen family. It spends considerably less time talking about what happens when the people you choose turn out to be… profoundly annoying. What’s a myth about adult friendships, chosen family, or queer life that reality completely ruined for you?

The Myth about queer life in 2026 is that there no longer is a true community. We are reversing the building blocks of Community to the point that many of us only feel a sense of belonging when we join events such as Pride. We are however becoming unaware that we are moving from connection and mutual support to simply coexisting (and sometimes, happily celebrating). But our interactions are becoming increasingly guided by consuming and discarding (each other). Becoming a commodity over Community. Even though the Myth of a LGBTQ+ Community at large is now mostly dead, there are still many subcultures within us that are thriving and growing. But they are often rejected by the vast majority. As long as we remember that ‘majority’ is not what made us into a Community, and we are able to reject the limitations of the new artificial standards, perhaps we’ll survive… We’re creating a culture of mutual exploitation using technology as a platform and based on desperation for being acknowledged and desired. This vacuum creates isolation and disconnection. The opposite of Community. Thus our collective identity is lost.

@aranha I agree with a lot of this, particularly that some platforms can encourage more transactional relationships. I just don’t think that’s the whole story. We’ve also never had more visibility or more opportunities to build community across cities and countries. My experience has been that every queer space contains generous people, selfish people, and everyone in between. I don’t think community has disappeared. I think it’s become more scattered, and maybe more honest about its own imperfections.