silveraccordlx

I think in general people are just meaner nowadays! It’s much harder to have disagreements or to consider different viewpoints because everything has become tied to morality. It’s so important to take time to consider other people’s perspectives and to give them time to consider yours. But to your point, kindness in general is much harder to come across.

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hidden

Not just you… it’s almost a pandemic… so distasteful too. But as you said, most of it is rooted in insecurities

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joeocarter

You’re not wrong. My ex-friend's boyfriend was A hole to me and my friend did nothing 💀 like and other gays just be nice nasty too.

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theartfulroger

Sorry that’s your experience, I’ve mostly (1 exception) met lovely guys on here. Ok some chat for 5 mins and disappear but the ones who truly connect have become good friends. Hope you find those sort of gays!

Reply ● 3 weeks

tobz

I think there are a lot of hurt guys out there who aren’t doing the work to heal.

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hidden

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hephaestion

I agree with the general consensus that people have just become more self centred. It’s the mentality of extreme individualism; “I don’t need anyone to survive so why bother putting the effort to be a good person” it’s trashy behaviour and I hope it changes, but humanity is going through some wacky nonsense right now.

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callthemzaddy

i don’t think most humans use technology as a tool. just take it for granted. knowing how quickly they can match as fast as unmatch. the power gives them satisfaction. and it all boils down to a few answers to dumb questions and some unflattering lighting in a completely candid moment.

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henriyjs

real

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bobc

I think there’s always been a subset of gays like this. Social media platforms seem to give them more exposure. I’ve met these types, but I’ve also met many kind interesting people and focus on that. There’s always going be shitheads

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chijockdaddy

No I’ve seen the same Thing. If it’s not a match for me I try to be clear, but if they persist in asking why not it can get problematic, I like to be upfront in that and not get people’s hopes up (that sounds totally douchey, I’m not so full of it, we have all gotten hit up by non-matches).I do remember getting those ‘thx but no thx messages over the years and early on I took it personally and really wanted to know why?! The answer is, there is no answer not everybody’s much for everybody take the ‘pass’ and move on. I’m gonna guess the point of people being angry and vicious and rude, that’s on them and definitely is a sign of their insecurity

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purplediamond

relatable, often times I experience non-queer spaces as generally friendlier and more approachable than a lot of queer spaces

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johannaviel

I try to stay away from most people nowadays 😄

Reply ● 3 weeks

aranha

💯 agree!!! Especially if you are no longer considered an objectified commodity.

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aranha

Just as our Community became so reliant on connecting through technology, there has been so much hurt and rejection. People do not meet purely to socialize. Most often, meetings follow online connection whose’s intention is hookups… This is fine of course, if it wasn’t for the roller coaster of behaviours and emotions it unleashes, often coming close to self harming addictive behaviours and the desperation to connect, resulting on just using and feeling used. Empty of true connection. The opposite of what our COMMUNITY has always been about. This causes disconnection, loneliness and pain.

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bobc

Hate to admit that it was so much more fun meeting people in bars etc.. before social media. Could meet friends, lovers, dates. Etc. also had to know how to flirt in person which was a lot of fun.

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aranha

@bobc 💯! The flirting game is so much fun as well! So important to know how to play it! Flirting online is nothing compared with it, and it often leads to disappointment… don’t you find it that sometimes guys sound amazing on paper and pick any in person, they are the most unsexy experience?… I love the energy and tension of in person connection…

Reply ● 3 weeks

bobc

@aranha So true. I’ve had younger people ask how to flirt in person because it’s not a skill that they need to develop. So fun. So exciting. It takes longer, but people are much nicer and don’t just ghost or act like assholes because there’s an accountability and cant hide behind a block or anonymity. There’s more motivation to be considerate and treat people with respect even when you’re not interested if it’s in person.

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tmerrmm

I completely understand this and it has disproportionately affected us very much newbie freshly legal gays having a baptism of fire of being called ugly and weird by people who are meant to be like me is not it in any way

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zrh81

People are being meaner and it feels like we live in a consumer society even when it comes to friendships / relationships. At the same time having an open dialogue is becoming more and more impossible - Either you are on their side or not worth their time

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aranha

@bobc 💯

Reply 3 weeks

luisteixeira

Sadly, those who goes to therapy are the ones that doesn’t need to…. Man are just frustrated! You know there a sentence (to gay people) that says “You don’t have unlimited choices, you have unlimited access” and then, they’re always putting those who could be good ones, because they’re looking for the good ones but they just lost it, then in the end of the day, they cry about being lonely and get mad, and angry, and then that madness it will be “offered” to others….. So ya, that’s of the reasons why man are so ESCROTO (it’s a portuguese word ahaha)

Reply ● 3 weeks

mikhailgallo

I think this is an issue with society at large, and a symptom of our current media landscape where polarization is used to keep us consuming. As we become increasingly angry and self-conscious, a loss of empathy is inevitable. Vulnerability is harder than ever but is vital for connection. Lately I’ve been seeking out opportunities to make new connections in spaces that encourage conversation and collaboration.

Reply ● 3 weeks