All my life! When I realized that the only reason people wanted to befriend was to have sex with me. So many times, I believed to have made a new friend but it always came to the same ending. And after it was clear we would not be lovers, they literally hated me as if I had mislead them… Unfortunately this has only happened to me in the gay community… I know there are many exceptions to this reality, but it certainly doesn’t inspire trust in me.

i feel similarly. honing my craft of holding space for others irl isn’t exactly reciprocated in the ways i would imagine. a hug would do wonders 🥰

I am from Panama and to be honest I never felt represented by the general idea of the LGBT community, since I was a bit nerdy, introvert, gaming oriented. Also I think most of the guys I met always look the physique and sex, going out etc. Living in Miami I feel really like an outsider, not even with gay guys I know from the Uni I am able to hangout, because I don’t know maybe I am too weird or forgot how to be more social.

@efrainj Its terrible when the gay culture has been all clubbing and drinking and I cannot relate to that either. I like staying inside reading or finding new artists, or do some actual exploring around the world and nature

When I saw how “important” being labelled by your sex role is and it meaning who you are or how you should be, that you’re mostly valued by your physique and it’s “normal” that when you’re in a relationship that your partner still has the need to be interacting or consuming people’s content because they’re sexually attracted to them

At what point is ‘community’ no more than a myth when none of the expectations match up? Real community = a village of similar minded people and values, prob with some level of respect for each other. The ‘community’ we’re all talking about = global demographics of way too many cultures/politics/vernacular differences to account for + borderline toxic events. I don’t bring this up to make light of it or talk semantics. I think it’s a bigger issue than we realize when we hold one definition in mind (even fantasize about all our lives for some of us, whether moving to a new city or finding the group that finally gets us) but we end up with a very different version in reality that isolates us into thinking we’re the only one who’s missing out. The ‘gay/queer/etc community’ was probably coined by a journalist in the 90s and been an empty buzzword ever since to describe LGBTQ+ people as a whole. Just wanted to add a perspective outside of the personal stories we all have and want to share 🫶

thanks for sharing some of your deepest thoughts here. i am a human behind the screen after all, but i just felt like opening space up for deep conversation. remember, one moment doesn’t define who you are! 🥰

I don’t think there was one specific moment. It was more of a gradual realization that I didn’t always identify with what seemed to be expected of me. Over time, I understood that belonging shouldn’t mean changing who you are to fit in. I can be part of a community while still being myself, and I think there’s something freeing about that.