I just read this quotation from the American novelist Silas House: “An...

casbahmike 1 month

I just read this quotation from the American novelist Silas House: “Any two people can set and jaw* all day long, but it takes two people right for each other to set together and just be quiet.” —Silas House, in A Parchment of Leaves Note: House is approximating an Appalachian dialect, so “set” is how “sit” might be pronounced, and “jaw” means to “talk.” To paraphrase, a character in the novel says that any two people can sit around a chat all day, but only two people who are right for one another can sit together in silence. Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?

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reese

I agree in part. I think we’ve developed this idea that remaining silent is a sign of emotional intelligence but being able to stimulate thought and conversation can further meaningful connection. Silence as avoidance m, insecurity or lacking depth is the other side of the same coin

1 month

casbahmike

Yes. I agree with that. I think Freud who first wrote about the utility of the therapist’s silence in encouraging the patient to make associations that could provide psychological insights, but I think that humans also have an aversion to silence when we’re with others, so we give voice to everything, even the most banal observations, and I’m not sure the associations we make to avoid silence are valuable, either. The ability to make “small talk” is an important social skill, but with those we know well, ideally we develop the capacity to understand when it might be good to get them to talk about something and when we can each be alone with our own thoughts.

1 month

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