Kids or no kids … did you go through this thinking process as a gay ma...

bertyboy 10 months

Kids or no kids … did you go through this thinking process as a gay man ? What helped you take the decision ?

ivandamme

My husband and I got back and forth with. I think we are both still “selfish” in the terms that we still want to do so many things without that worry! Also - we have 3 cats and a dog, so those fur babies are already high Maintance enough! I think for us - at least - we are gonna wait till we are in our 40’s to maybe reasses!

10 months

ivandamme

@claudiodavio 😂 😂

10 months

bertyboy

@ivandamme yes a bit the same feeling ! Even in our 40s … ahah ! At the same time aging without kids feels a bit scary 🤔

10 months

bertyboy

@claudiodavio arty dog maybe?

10 months

jberrios

I guess it depends on where you’re at in life and if you think you found a partner that could be a good parent. I know I will be a great dad, but I won’t even consider forming a family until I complete a couple of life projects and find the right one. However, you can still direct your paternal instincts by volunteering or mentoring children or teenagers.

10 months

matt.rocha

As gay men we have fewer options to become parents. And to consider all the implications of what it really means for a woman, their body and their place in society to engage in surrogacy was a game changer for me. It is also always very interesting to remember that to become a parent is not right, and that the luck of single and lesbian woman to unilaterally and single-handedly become mothers might be one of the few privileges that gay men do not have. And I think that last part and nerves a lot of gay men lol

10 months

bertyboy

@jberrios 💯 ! Even fostering can be an option !

10 months

bertyboy

@matt.rocha fully aligned ! Out of surrogacy, we went to very interesting conferences about co-parenting, looking as new family structure was truly fascinating (and building those bridges between gay men and lesbian women). Listening to adoption stories super interesting too (but feels like it’s such a fight)

10 months

jberrios

@bertyboy Yes! That is the option I gravitate towards most. There are a lot of kids in the foster care system that need a good home, even if it’s for a while.

10 months