Okay whoever wants to hate me can but I’m irritated. I had a best...

Okay whoever wants to hate me can but I’m irritated. I had a best friend who basically used to hate men and was a girl loving girl. She had her heart broken by countless girls and then all of a sudden falls in love with a man out of nowhere. They have been together for about 2 months and already act like they’re getting engaged. I think something is off about him and I never had a good feeling about this situation. Similar to how I felt when she got into a relationship with a woman who ended up physically, emotionally and mentally abusing her. She stopped talking to me the second they made their relationship official and now they’re traveling together and their pictures make me cringe. She dropped all of her queer friends like they don’t exist and now acts like a completely different person. Keep in mind this is now the maybe 5th person I considered a good friend to completely switch up and start disliking and discrediting women and end up with a man. All women who were considered full-blown lesbian or queer. It irritates me because this is why people think being part of the LGBTQ+ family is just a phase for most. I understand things change while you grow and work on yourself but she seems kinda homophobic to me now. Am I wrong??? Please someone help me!!!

izzywizzystrawberry

Ohhhhhhh wtf I’m so sorry to hear that wow that is painful and I hate that queer women who switch back kinda just prove the rhetoric that u just need the right man but I def think something’s fishy going on. Like either the guy is a lovebomber or he’s controlling and he’s isolating her from everyone so that it’s easier to control her OR her family got in her ear telling her to “get serious” and “settle down” and get rid of her friends that they think are influencing her to be gay

2 months

jor_1206

@izzywizzystrawberry well her family is hard core Christian, literally a pastor of a church and all that. They shunned her from her family after she came out for like 8 years and 2 of those years on and off MY family provided a place for her to live. She has baby fever but her body quite literally will miscarry if she gets pregnant. I’ve continuously reached out saying things like “I hope you’re doing well” “just checking in” and just ignores everything. I definitely see both sides of your argument being true. Another key part to this is we had an on and off relationship at the very beginning on our friendship 10 years ago and since we had just reconnected after 8 years of silence, I also have a feeling she’s either jealous of my life or has some sort of secret feelings for me too but that’s just me

@jor_1206 oh wow that’s crazy a lot of interesting theories there tbh lol like lowkey messy but these could be possible fr based on your context i think most of it is her family telling her to “get serious” and “her biological clock is running out” or whatever like her family def must’ve arranged a marriage for her or something cuz it doesn’t make sense for her to be engaged after only dating a man for two months wtf

But yea maybe it has something to do with u guys having a history but idk tho cuz its been so long ago like how could she still hold onto feelings 8 years later or like feel some kind of way 8 years later bro

lalalatori

Has she had similar patterns in past relationships? Like cutting people off, moving quickly, interests changing- things like that? I’m sorry you’re going through this- friendship break ups are the worst.

@lalalatori ohhhhhhhh that’s a great question

@lalalatori @izzywizzystrawberry well…not really. Me and my then girlfriend would always do things with her and her then girlfriend BUTTTTT when my then girlfriend decided to leave me, she look her side and that’s why we were no contact for 8 years. I recently reached out for closure at the end of last year not thinking we’d be in each others lives again. We ended up treating each other like those 8 years of no contact existed and jumped right back into where we left off. Until she got into a relationship with this guy.

@jor_1206 oh wow that’s really weird yikes wtf yea I don’t get it then it’s possible there’s still some feelings there or maybe she dated a guy just to spite people? idk but yea I also wonder if she’s ever done this before in the past or is this the first time

@izzywizzystrawberry I don’t know mannnn but at the beginning of the year she told me she didn’t want another relationship again and then to not only fully switch up but to cut people who truly love and care about you out of your life it just doesn’t make any sense. I need to talk to my therapist about this lmaooooo

@jor_1206 yea that doesn’t make anyyyyyyyy sense definitely talk to your therapist holy shit that’s evil

juvenlee_surrealart

Looks like you've gotten enough good advice. Just here to support you. Friends like that suck. 🫶🏽🫶🏽

Knowing and believing you'll find the right friends! 🙌🏽

@jor_1206 wow this situation really sucks. I wonder if it could be the new bf feels weird about your friendship since you’ve had a thing? Or she may be clinging to a more hetero presenting lifestyle because of the shitshow that is the current political climate. Whatever the reason it’s not ok to treat people you care about this way. Sounds like a pretty inconsistent person.

@lalalatori I completely agree like maybe the boyfriend is insecure or homophobic himself so he’s like yea no she can’t talk to anymore queers but this is still messed up cuz she’s still at fault like

lav

I know it’s challenging but trust. you don’t need a friend like that, she’s showing you her true colors.

1 month