Did anyone else keep a diary when they were younger? How does reading...

justben 3 months

Did anyone else keep a diary when they were younger? How does reading it now make you feel… do you cringe or laugh or even recognise that person? Is the life you wanted then the life you led in truth? I see in the writing from my 20s the typical self-serious know-it-all arrogance of youth. How I’d love to relive that period with the compassion and lightness I’ve developed since then. But I also miss the optimism of that young man… I should thank him for where I am today. I suppose I wouldn’t have got this far if he shared the pragmatic resignation of middle age. A note for myself in 20 years; yes I know I’m being dreadfully wistful and I’m sorry if we have a mid life crisis despite doing my best to be self-aware about that. 😅

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I kept one, but then my mother read it 🙃

3 months

justben

@hassan oh, how did that go down?

3 months

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@justben by some miracle she ignored the naked men I had sketched and only focused on my angsty “I hate my mother” entries. Then she didn’t talk to me for a week 😅

3 months

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@hassan AHHHHHHHHHH

3 months

kivionthebeat

I kept one back in high school. I still remember what I wrote and cringe even without reading the complete text. Let’s say I cared a little too much what other people thought of me back then. However, I miss writing my feelings down. I might reconsider journaling my days again.

2 months

le_shnack

Yes. I was actually reading some of it the other day. Some of it can be cringe (why did I feel the need to write in the style of a Lana Del Ray song) but mostly it’s endearing reading how I experienced the world with the hindsight and wisdom I have now. Sometimes it’s a little difficult to connect with that younger version of myself because I’ve grown and changed so much, but mostly reading it makes me proud of the little anxious, and insecure boy, for becoming the person I never thought I could be.

2 months

justben

@kivionthebeat aww, I think that’s a universal experience; we’re finding ourselves at that age and perception of our image seems to mean everything! I want to say I don’t feel that way anymore but can we ever completely shed the demon of vanity… perhaps not. How has your relationship with your feelings changed as you’ve aged?

2 months

justben

@le_shnack That’s lovely; hindsight really is such a wonderful tool and to use it with compassion on your past self is crucial. We should all show love to our past selves more; they laid the groundwork for where we are now. What do you think the younger version of you would be most proud of current you?

2 months

le_shnack

@justben hmm, my younger self never believed that I could ever be enough, I don’t think they’d believe just how far I’ve come. How about you?

2 months

justben

@le_shnack wonderful, I’m happy you proved that you are enough 🙂 I guess for me I think a few of my younger selves, the ones that didn’t think we’d make it, would be proud that we have, that we found a way to live with the darkness, even if we can’t lose it.

2 months

le_shnack

@justben How lovely to surprise yourself with the capability and hope that was hard to imagine. Makes me wonder in 10 years what future version of ourselves we’ll be proud of and why

2 months

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I’m trying to dress more professorial at work. I’m I getting close?