On a second thought about White Fragility I think that the most...

On a second thought about White Fragility I think that the most important binary to dismantle is Bad person == Racist person. None of us thinks of themselves as a “bad person”. We genuinely believe (and most is correct, I’m sure) that we can be called a “good person” or at least we do not belong to the “bad person” category. This therefore exempts us from thinking that we may behave in a racist way or that we may have racist beliefs and biases. Aka - “Racism is bad; only bad people can be racist, right? Hence this is something that does not apply to me. I am not a bad person.” And just like that: whole conversation killed even before it started. Simple and effective avoidance strategy. Second one to dismantle would be: “I didn’t have bad intentions therefore I cannot be at guilt and my comfort needs to be protected. I cannot feel uncomfortable in this conversation”. Well, f-you. Intentions do not cancel the effects of actions, nor our comfort is required for the anti-racist argument being brought against our action.

jcob

This queerling is the most helpful person I’ve ever met. And we met on @collective! We’d been chatting here for some time. When I landed in Toronto, they drove me from the airport to my Airbnb. They invited me to their Thursday vegan potlucks, which was a great way to meet new queers. They offered me an apartment to rent in the house they live in. I lived there all by myself. They helped me navigate Canada. And when I was sick. And many other times. And they drove me to the airport on my last day. I wouldn’t have made it without you. Thanks a billion for everything, @biscuit 🏳️‍🌈🩷

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I’ve had many instances of white people making racist jokes and then getting offended and angry when they hear someone else saying something racist, but when I confront them about their joke they respond with “but I was joking” like their intention just cancels out their action 🫨

1 month

casbahmike

I think there is a lot of space between the poles of “intent doesn’t matter, only the impact” and “impact doesn’t matter, only the intent.” We all make mistakes, and even those of us who try very hard to be anti-racist can say insensitive things. But there’s a big difference between the person who says something racially insensitive (or homophobic, Islamophobic, xenophobic…) without realizing it, and the person means exactly what they say. The degree of defensiveness versus degree of contrition also matters, at least to me.

rafciu

@casbahmike I understand that there is space between the two you mentioned but I also feel that too often the “good intentions” leverage is used as an argument to dismiss any anti racist argument raised to us. In the same time I agree that the intent itself isn’t necessarily “worthless” as a useful knowledge to know how we will respond. I think that we need to accept that we white people, benefit from racism either we like it or not, either we see it or not. And from there i think we should move to accepting that not only we sometimes “may” say racially problematic things but to understand that for 100% we have said things that are racially problematic because our culture teaches us this and we are wired to think and act like this. Just wanted to express that I believe good intent does not cancel the bad outcome of words and actions.

@rafciu I get it and I agree.