Yep. 100%. Enby AFAB here.

@lostbutton 😭 it’s so hard. And it’s hard for people who aren’t Enby to understand. How do you deal with it?

Oh 1000% I’ve always towed this line of wanting to be masculine in some way because I don’t feel comfortable to say I’m fully a woman but also I feel like I don’t fully want to be a man either so I just wish for androgyny

Gender is all a construct! If only we could do away with it all together.

Yes! This is why I love the Gender Unicorn 🦄. I’m AMAB and ENBY, gay, and queer; my gender identity has always felt pretty down the middle on male/female scales, but my gender expression leans towards male. It sometimes leans me towards the impostor phenomenon since my expression aligns closer to being AMAB. But, there”s no one way to be a woman or man — I work with gender expansive adults and adolescents as a therapist, and some parents expect their teens with severe gender dysphoria to suddenly want to present as a femme girl when starting hormones or to want top surgery ASAP. But this just becomes another binary, and flattens the reality of the range of gender expression we have even amongst cis people even. It’s all valid and people should have access to care if they want, but it’s whatever helps you feel more yourself! For some folks, that includes gender nihilism (some folks will ask to use all or no pronouns), but for others, it’s an important identity — to find community, for expression, as part of their culture, etc. All feel valid to me. 😊

@luzishere it’s an ongoing journey for sure and likely one without an end point. Like most things it’s more about myself than others. The more confident and comfortable I get with myself, the less other people’s actions/beliefs matter. I get curious and really tune into my responses and feelings. Ask myself if what I feel is me or if I’m performing someone else’s idea of gender. Take note of what makes me feel most like me and lean into that. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. However, You do owe yourself this exploration. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

@djkevingraves it’s so hard to explain my gender experience to people who don’t get it. Even some people a part of the community, while accepting don’t understand what it’s like to feel like a “3rd option.”

@lostbutton thank you, I appreciate that.

I TOTALLY get this. There are times I really love feeling masculine. And then there are times I really don’t want to feel that way. But I don’t ever really feel like “a woman”. A bit part of coming out to myself (late in life) has been realizing that I’m probably non-binary to some degree… it’s all kinda new tbh Anyway, I think it’s brilliant that you’re able to even have this conversation with yourself, and to contemplate what that might mean for you. I think for some of us, the difficulty’s not so much in “what” we want to be exactly, as it is the labels and pigeonholes in which we feel forced to live. Even labels like gay, trans, non-binary, etc can be limiting, even if they provide useful frameworks for us to use to figure out who we are…

@blu.tone Yes! Exactly this! My thing is as someone who is nonbinary how am I also lesbian? Then queer feels closer but it also doesn’t feel “right.” I know that there isn’t a perfect answer but I guess because of the society I grew up in I feel like I need one.

yes 100%

I feel like it’s the standards set by society that really do it. If there wasn’t so much pressure around femininity or masculinity, people would feel more free to just be who they want to be. Either way, live your dreams. You don’t have to answer to anyone but yourself!