It can be a bit of both. It depends on the kind of relationship. But without reciprocity, is there even a relationship? I mean, it’s a building block (standard) but with some people you either have or you don’t (finding). And it’s fine either way!

@die Agreed… I think finding the balance can be the tricky part and it makes me wonder how others manage that 🤔

@michael99 i think of it in different aspects of my life. In a love interest, reciprocity should be standard, no doubt. In family, it’s almost set by default but it can be questioned, i don’t have reciprocity with many members of my family and i’m okay with that. In a friendship, you definitely find it, that’s why you choose them. With time it becomes a standard and reciprocity can look very differently according to each other’s love language or dynamic, and you either accept it if it adds something to your life or it’s functional and make it work, or you stop trying to force it and let it go and move on. Does it make sense?

@die yes! I appreciate your wisdom

I think it’s both. If you acknowledge the other person’s reciprocal actions, and note it’s part of your core values, both parts can come to an agreement

Or an inherent trait in the right people?

@jon_jacobsen @nmazz I think it’s a bit of both, something we’re wired for, but also something we can learn and get better at. It can build emotional intimacy with the right people, but it also naturally filters out the ones who aren’t meant to stay

I find that wonderful word often ignored or misunderstood… Reciprocity needs to be present in any interaction, every relationship… Otherwise, we’re just interacting with a blank wall…