When you live with the heart, you stop negotiating with the sky. You learn courage by drowning, not by floating. I rewind each night midnight becomes a rehearsal of forgetting, the lights go out but my mind keeps sketching worlds that haven’t signed a lease in reality yet. Maybe this is a letter, or a trick to exhaust the ache. Maybe it’s the caffeine in the word maybe that keeps me awake. You said it’s a game of no expectations and I believed you, the way a wave believes the shore will still be there even after breaking a thousand times. I don’t expect you, I just expand into love that doesn’t ask for anything, into the fever of what isn’t convenient. If I could choose, I’d still choose the hard thing, the beautiful mistake that keeps teaching me how to breathe underwater. Because when I live with the heart, I live with courage and courage is the art of staying open while falling apart in style. — Juanda