i just want someone who gets me, not only that but someone who wants...

i just want someone who gets me, not only that but someone who wants to know me. every time i talk to someone on the apps, im always met with conversation that burns out quickly because there is a lack of want or curiosity. it’s always, “hey how are you?” and never “hey, mercury retrograde is messing with me right now, how is it for you?” the how are you’s seem routine based, and don’t even get me started on when someone just says, “i’m good.” like excuse me??? do you not care how i am? immediate no no. i’m just so over it. the last guy i had a genuine conversation with who knew how to keep it, i found out a week later that he has a girlfriend. not in the chill-polyamorous way, but in the she-doesn’t-know-but-she-knows-tove-lo kind of way (iykyk). i also had a meaningful conversation from grindr of all places and learned how he was homeless in college and lived in someone’s shed in the backyard with no AC in the heat of August. it was beautiful, all the stories he told about being on drugs and not really caring about anything except the experience of what it’s like to be young back in the 2000’s. and then just like that, i’ve never heard back from him again. but i understand some connections and conversations are made only once and never again. i just seem to ponder on my ex more and more due to not having someone new in my life since. the memories unravel through inanimate objects, a laugh i hear in a restaurant, songs i know were written about him specifically, and my mom has brought up missing him a suspicious amount of times lately. there aren’t enough words to embody how im feeling. i don’t even know what i feel most days. but to sum this all up… i crave for someone to drive me up the walls. challenge my routines. take up space in my life. taste when i’m hungry. deal the cards with me. i’m not sure if this makes sense whatsoever. but this is how i’m feeling right now.

towfiq

Confessions to the moon The most intimate thing, for me, is not kissing you, nor holding you. It's talking to you about myself. If I give you my body, I can take it back. But if I give you my thoughts, it's like giving you a piece of my heart. And when you leave, you take with you the deepest part of me — the one I'll never get back.

maopamez

Ahora mismo tengo 29 años. Y solo quiero darte un consejo: Baja tu escudo. Deja que te vean. No tengas miedo de sentir. 😉

musti.dab

There are still things I want to tell you. Small things, mostly. A plant I finally learned the name of. Something stupid one of my cats did. A sentence I heard on the street that would have made you laugh. A tree somewhere in Berlin carrying fruit, the kind we would have stopped to inspect as if discovering it ourselves. Sometimes something happens and my first thought is still: I have to tell you this. And for one tiny second, you still exist exactly where you used to. Then I remember. There is nowhere to send it anymore.

quebecossais

I proposed to @le_alex on the dancefloor at the after hours (completely spontaneously and not realizing it was EXACTLY 1 year since we met) and he said YES!!!

floptor

I always forget to ask people how they are in return but I’m never giving ”I’m good” answer either, I will tell exactly what I have been doing lately 😂

1 month

fuwafuwa_usagg

Cara! Só um conselho, viva 🎊, e você não está errado de se sentir assim, e não está errado em viver a vida, teve várias oportunidades com caras e que deram a você uma visão de mundo que nunca imaginou, se ame e siga em frente. Namastê 🙏 🪷

pnklmnade

@floptor see and that would be more acceptable!! at least say something that will move the conversation and not leave it at a standstill!

subpartf

well-written, and resonates a lot with me! even the ex part. i overall don’t regret leaving him, but he was very inquisitive, and i sometimes wonder if it’s something i didn’t appreciate enough since i do find myself missing that aspect of him. I feel like i also have much more interesting conversations on hookup apps like grindr/sniffies than i do with tinder/hinge matches. hell, i even went to a gay bathhouse last night and had convos with people who had fascinating stories.

@subpartf i think about this all the time! i wrote a poem the other day about how i didn’t notice the sunflowers he planted in his yard being a romantic gesture. i was young and needed words of affirmation and he was a bit older so he did things in a more subtle way that i couldn’t understand his love language yet. i definitely didn’t appreciate the relationship enough and not only that, myself enough to allow things to come naturally and just exist in certain moments without having to overthink and analyze everything. but i agree, dating apps are an odd space to find connection in. but like grindr i’ve been finding meaningful ppl there oddly!

3 weeks