Somewhat confusing to me how my friends, family, and colleagues seem...

Somewhat confusing to me how my friends, family, and colleagues seem to appreciate my calm and “nonchalant” personality while it seems to bother partners or dating prospects. Also interesting seeing the discourse online around dating those kinds of men. I’m naturally a very calm and composed person, and even when I laugh or talk, fully engaged, I’m just not overly expressive. It’s my natural baseline, so I don’t intentionally try to hide my emotions or act distant to seem more “mysterious” or feel superior to others. It’s just how I naturally am. Feels very discouraging because oftentimes in dates or romantic relationships, it feels like I can never exist without people analyzing me and collapsing what they interpret from their readings of me into the most threatening possible narratives and thus pull back in response. Masking it by feigning emotiveness resolves this in the short-term, but it drains me very quickly. Not sure if I’m missing something about how I come across to people or if my personality will always come with this by-product.

towfiq

Confessions to the moon The most intimate thing, for me, is not kissing you, nor holding you. It's talking to you about myself. If I give you my body, I can take it back. But if I give you my thoughts, it's like giving you a piece of my heart. And when you leave, you take with you the deepest part of me — the one I'll never get back.

quebecossais

I proposed to @le_alex on the dancefloor at the after hours (completely spontaneously and not realizing it was EXACTLY 1 year since we met) and he said YES!!!

_miles_

Are you autistic by any chance? Not saying that specifically only applies to that but it is a trait.

1 week

juvenlee_surrealart

I'm very expressive. I can be non chalant but between the two, because your post has got me thinking- my husband is very non expressive... almost maybe maladaptively so.. haha (but that's another story..)- is ✨communication✨ I think as long as your able to communicate well- your likes, passions, thoughts, feelings, ideas either/or is perfectly fine. I think the main complaint about people being non-chalant, in dating, isn't their laid back attitude or minimally expressive self- cause like I said, I married one, it's that persons inability to communicate well. So yeah, communicate effectively, engagingly, openly and I think you should be ok.