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As a former Babygirl™, the older I get, the more my views on partnership shift.
I still value connection, emotional intimacy, chemistry, and quality time deeply. But I’ve realized I don’t need romantic partnership to access those things. Intimacy can exist in friendships, chosen family, community, and the random stranger who changes your perspective during a 20-minute conversation.
I also think many queer people come of age collecting fragments of what adulthood could look like. We find pieces of ourselves in others, but not always a full picture of what a thriving, joyful queer life can be. So much of it becomes an act of authorship.
We’ve inherited the idea that partnership completes us, but I wonder if the real work is becoming familiar with ourselves first—our values, needs, desires, boundaries—so that any relationship we choose complements our lives rather than defines them.
These days, I think I’m more interested in knowing myself well enough to choose relationships from alignment rather than longing, obligation, or fear.
Curious: How have your views on partnership changed over time? What examples of queer adulthood shaped your understanding of joy? What parts of your life have you intentionally designed for yourself?