REAL TALK #12 "Gay men like to keep it casual. They tell themselves they prefer things light: casual dates, no labels, no pressure. It looks like freedom, but it also stops anyone from getting too close. The reason: closeness still feels tied to rejection. Keeping things casual protects them from risking vulnerability and from letting someone see the parts of them they still fear are not good enough. I'm over this. I have done my homework. Talking to guys who haven't frustrates me, cause I know that I can't do their homework for them."