olegs

In my opinion, everything pretty much depends on what meaning do you give to this search for partner. I believe that the right person will appear in your life when they should. Looking for someone purposefully seems artificial for me. To get into relationship you need to be completely fine on your own and another will make fine twice better, but main thing is that you alone should be okay with yourself. If you are not okay alone then looking for partner on purpose seems like a run to get something that you are missing within yourself. Probably what I am saying sounds weird, haha.

Reply •••••• 1 year

vtodorov

@olegs oh I absolutely agree with this! It usually happens when you're least looking for it to be honest but also nowadays most people dont wanna commit and look for open relationships :/ Do you think there's still hope haha

Reply ●●●● 1 year

olegs

@vtodorov I believe that there is hope (even though I am hopeless person in many things, but not this, hahahah). Also, people like you and me (who wanna commit) are examples that hope exists.

Reply 1 year

vtodorov

@olegs I started believing that being able to commit somehow pushes away other people because of their own fears and insecurities (or whatever else it is) like everything is so fucked up haha

Reply ●● 1 year

capricorpse

I think having this idea of "the one" or a type of guy in mind already is going to make it harder. My partner was a grindr hookup, but we had so much fun talking and such a great connection that we went for dinner after (at 11:30pm lol). And then just started hanging out all the time. He's not exactly "my type" so i might have skipped him if i was really focused on finding a relationship. I know everyone's situation is different, so just try to be open and meet all kinds of people. And if you want monogamy, be real about that. There are other people who want it

Reply ●●●●● 1 year

vtodorov

@ahmd to be honest I belive quite a lot of people don't see or love the real you but rather the form and shape they created about you in their mind.. which leads to those ultimatums and conditions... you should stick to being yourself and staying true to it ❤️

Reply ●● 1 year

dmacaulay

It’s rough out there. I think more and more because of apps and hookup culture we are commodifying ourselves. We often treat dating like shopping; I tend to feel like I’m an item in a catalogue. Our attention spans are so short that even after one good date we’re left wondering if there’s a better option out there that we haven’t found yet, so we don’t deepen the connections right in front of us. I think the most important thing we can all do as a community is question how we are connecting with each other. Depth and vulnerability are hard. They require choices, a limiting of your options, and allowing yourself to be seen and possibly hurt. But they’re worth it.

Reply •••••• 1 year

vtodorov

@dmacaulay THIS THIS THIS!!! Absolutely, I completely agree with you. It’s so easy to forget that these apps are designed to keep us scrolling, swiping, and chasing the next option... they’re literally rewiring how we seek connection. It can feel like we’re all products in a catalogue, and it really makes it harder to slow down and be present with someone. Depth, vulnerability, and real connection take courage, but they’re so much more fulfilling than the endless swipe cycle...

Reply ●●●● 1 year

capricorpse

@dmacaulay yes! For me, it helped to just accept it. We wonder, is there something better out there? Yes, of course there is. There always is. But do you know where? Do they know you? Do they like you? Do they even live in your city? Are they single? It's not worth tossing out a connection that's actually happening, just to chase some phantom of a better partner. There are so many people on this earth, but you need to give energy to the ones who are real. The perfect partner will not exist until you build the relationship with them, around each other.

Reply ●●● 1 year

capricorpse

@ahmd oh yes maybe wasn't the best word. in this way i mean someone you think you will like more, or someone hotter, makes more money, whatever thing it is for each person.

Reply 1 year

kai-baby

i decided i was gonna stop searching n remain single for a while and then i met my partner like days after lol

Reply ●●● 1 year

vtodorov

@kai-baby manifesting

Reply ● 1 year

kai-baby

i also think if you’re looking to find meaningful relationships make sure you’re putting yourself in environments that fit those desires. don’t expect to find somebody who matches your vibe when you’re surrounding yourself with people and places that don’t match your vibe

Reply ●● 1 year

casbahmike

@capricorpse I love that story. Mine is similar. In fact, I was kind of trying to get the attention of his friend. His friend turned about to be kind of a stick in the mud, but he and I hit it off. That was ages ago; we’ve been together since!

Reply ● 1 year

capricorpse

@casbahmike hah thats awesome. His loss!

Reply ● 1 year

dinobambino

@olegs agreed! I literally my boyfriend the Moment I stop caring for the Search for „the one“ and I had a Phase where I was really desperate to find a bf 🤪

Reply ● 1 year

hidden

@kai-baby hahaha it’s always when you’re not expecting it which is SOSOSO annoying in the moment - but i literally was at wits end with dating and hinge, and was going to delete the app, then i went on a date with my now-partner, and feel like i’ve finally found someone who does fully satisfy me and what i was looking for :)) (we’re both autistic and gay AF)

Reply 1 year

barthyhood

Mood 💔

Reply 1 year

hidden

It’s so hard finding someone who is actually available and not in either some kind of avoidance, divided attention, or having very specific/very high expectations (or all of the above). I don’t think there is “the one” but there has to be someone who is compatible enough and in a compatible mindset so we can both invest time and energy into trying to build a relationship. I think relaxing our expectations is key to finding a partner: we aren’t perfect, they won’t be perfect and being in a relationship won’t make our problems disappear. And yes, sadly we are commodities but that’s how dating apps work in a capitalist society. It’s very frustrating and I wish we could change all that somehow, but meanwhile we have to work with whatever we got I guess. Also, it’s pretty hard not beating ourselves up for not having a partner. The reflex question is “what’s wrong with me” but let’s not forget that having a partner isn’t an outcome of nothing being wrong with someone. I’m sure the majority of people that have ever walked this earth haven’t resolved their issues or “been in a happy place”or “loved themselves first” prior to entering a relationship. I have to constantly remind myself that.

Reply ●●●● 1 year

hidden

I'd say it's rough out there, i'm on the dating apps, however i don't really see anyone that i can strike up a conversation with. I'm honestly considering just deleting all the apps and cross my fingers to find someone i can connect with. I'm way too tired of "come over to mine" from day one. If he’s out there, we are ought to bump up to each other.

Reply ● 1 year

fouvey

Babes I have no idea. I’m 18 and I’ve given up already. I’m sure something will happen eventually but until then…. This bitch gonna be single.

Reply ● 1 year

fouvey

@yourbestie no literally. I’ve been used and lied to more times than I care to count and so I just can’t be bothered. No one seems to be seeking an actual connection.

Reply ● 1 year

fouvey

@yourbestie ❤️ thank you my friend

Reply 1 year

dor

I accepted singlehood was a life possibility, not only for me but for thousands of people. Then I focused on something else. It wasn’t easy but it was the best approach

Reply 1 year

un.nico.de.lava

Wow, reading you guys is quite heartbreaking for me. I feel everyone has needed to adapt to tough conditions to find the right one (and i dont say right one because there is just one). But anyways, finding a real, fitting and authentic person is tough. But i dont know if it is because there is many people who dont see value in people who are not exactly like they want or because they are alienated by the consumism culture. I wish we could make like queer activities in each city to find the right people, and not just people who are looking for something specific

Reply 1 year

un.nico.de.lava

@fouvey we could meet to be friends at least of you are looking for some deep not romantic connections for now

Reply 1 year