I think it’s because we’ve normalized hookup culture so much by engaging with all these apps. It’s become more expected to send faceless nudes vs. introducing yourself by name. Men today don’t have the patience to date for long periods before committing. More bathhouses are open in cities across the US, more after hours sex parties... there’s hardly community for MSM seeking true monogamy. Often the alternative is to hire a matchmaker which often comes with a financial barrier.

@thee_daveed 🎯🎯🎯🎯 you’re so right and it makes me so sad

The solution is probably leaving the apps, and going out into the world. Like people used to do it back in the day.

@sailormars I don’t knowww, because the people who were acting like I was an exception for being monogamous were people I met out in the real world at a gay bar

@leoiswho fair and reasonable! Can’t go back to a cave. Also, don’t rush it honey. It will happen, forcing it will only make you feel terrible.

Live and let live. There’s plenty of monogamous gays out there too. Hopefully you find a good match for you. 💗

@missdrakis best answer!

From a societal standpoint, definitions of what constitutes a “relationship” have evolved significantly. While ethical non-monogamy is not new, it has become more openly discussed in recent years. Much of the discomfort surrounding ENM stems from long-standing social norms and assumptions (particularly around exclusivity and sexuality) that have been passed down through generations. ENM challenges the idea that emotional commitment and exclusivity must always be inseparable. By intentionally separating different forms of intimacy, ENM reflects a broader understanding of how humans can form meaningful, consensual connections. In my personal opinion, I see pros and cons of both sides… but many negative judgments toward ENM rely on familiar tropes rather than evidence, overlooking the role of communication, consent, and what is unique to an individual couple.

@kyemack I don’t mean to come off as viewing it negatively. I was just at a gay bar this weekend and a guy I was talking to was genuinely shocked when I told him I was monogamous. He said that I was the only person my age that he knew that was monogamous

@leoiswho I just want to clarify that I’m not implying you particularly view this negatively! I’m speaking more generally. While it’s certainly not everyone, some people do tend to have a negative reaction based on personal preference, rather than curiosity about what might make a non-traditional relationship work for a particular couple. Broadly speaking, there’s often a lot of outside opinion inserted into conversations that are ultimately very specific to the people in the relationship themselves. In many aspects of life, some things may not work for us while others may—How I see it, it’s largely about the active intent to respect another persons decision, even if it may not be something we agree with :)

@kyemack that’s a good point! I think as long as we all treat each other with respect, either relationship type will work with the right people :3

@leoiswho Exactly! Whatever makes each other happy 💚

Because we don’t have to follow rules and are free to design our lives how we want to. And judging by how many single people complain about open relationships, there is enough of them to couple up within this crowd