Quick vulnerable post: As much as I love living in San Francisco, one of the things about living in a transient city like SF is just how quickly your friends will get up and move away. Think I’ve had like 7 friends in the last 3 months decide to move to NYC or elsewhere. And another 2-3 are moving away in January 2026. Like I still have a handful of friends here that I am grateful for and I’m mostly comfortable being alone and what not but man… it starting to feel lonely not gonna lie 😭. When I’m out walking around and I see groups of people hanging out doing fun activities together, having dinners and what not, I do get a little jealous because I’m watching my circle is shrink with each day. And despite what people say, it’s lowkey hard to make new genuine friends, at least in my experience. Sorry for the long post but just needed somewhere to get out these thoughts.
Like 8 comments
Photo of casbahmike
casbahmike
Thanks for this post. I confess that I am sometimes jealous of my friends who’ve remained in my hometown all their lives. They travel, of course, but they’ve never lived elsewhere. They have networks of people to hang out with or who they trust and can call for almost anything. But I’m glad I’ve pursued opportunities wherever they are. And there is joy in really getting to know city like only a resident does!
Photo of anseo
anseo
Solidarity from London, it’s the same here with people leaving. Socially it feels like lots of folk have their friend circle decided and they’re not interested in new applicants 🫠 it reminds me to be friendly and welcoming to everyone.
Photo of shawnmendes
shawnmendes
@artfromla Yeah you bring up a good point about the romantization of a city. It’s really wild that almost everyone I know that is leaving is leaving for NYC. Has me second guessing myself like am I missing out on something in NYC.
Photo of shawnmendes
shawnmendes
@anseo Yeah I noticed how closed off people are once they have their circle. I remember I thought I hit it off with a potential new friend and they just became a serial flake anytime I tried to make plans with them.
Photo of jupitermonamour
jupitermonamour
Friends are like broken records, we play them when they come and wish them the best when they have to go. Moving on itself it’s a very hard process. The older we get people settle more, and that’s fine.
Photo of tornado
tornado
Move to Oakland, way more stable social conditions and community. Just a thought!
Photo of shawnmendes
shawnmendes
@own_history Yeah I still keep in touch with those that have left and don’t necessarily feel a drop in connection with them or anything. I just feel more isolated since im more alone physically with how much my circle has shrunk. Just fewer opportunities i guess
Photo of shawnmendes
shawnmendes
@tornado Its a thought that has crossed my mind from time to time but I really like where I live so not sure. I do think I should spend more time in oakland though. I don’t get over there as much as I would like
Add a comment
Cam is on Collective
The private community app for LGBTQ+ friends, networking, events and more.
See their full profile in the app
Sign Up
Join 140,000 members Download
Profile Picture
Cam is on Collective
Get the app to continue
Download