one of my field notes from a project I’m doing : Her uptake of the shared struggle is not an internalization or transferance as some might have it. Her plight for her community as a shared struggle + experience (both lived + taken up from stories she’s seen /heard) is an understanding that this - discrimination- dehumanization is not individuated but structural. Her uptake is a nnowing that knows it goes beyond individuated stories— including her own—toward strucural violence.

Heartbreak like I’ve never experienced it before. Boy it hurts💔

Was to late to get eclipse sunglasses so I had to improvise. Wish me luck.

Sometimes, thoughts plucked from messy minds, scribbled on scraps of paper, should be scrumpled up and left with the dirty dishes. Especially those scrawled on an empty stomach…

Booty small or is it the dysmorphia? (I‘m serious)

For the first time in my career I’ve been signed off due to burnout 🫠 My default personality’s friendly golden retriever but damn the past few months have been back to back pressure and I buckled. I need to do a lot of soul searching about what to fix and what career switch is right for me. Unhelpfully, burnout causes brain fog so 🫠 step one is just piecing my brain back together. I’ve no idea what I’m doing but Louie’s gentle friendship has been healing. He doesn’t demand anything from me, he’s just happy to pad alongside me in the woods and keep me company while I figure this out.

Late night - struggles !

Do people date anymore? Or is everyone just players?

This queerling is the most helpful person I’ve ever met. And we met on @collective! We’d been chatting here for some time. When I landed in Toronto, they drove me from the airport to my Airbnb. They invited me to their Thursday vegan potlucks, which was a great way to meet new queers. They offered me an apartment to rent in the house they live in. I lived there all by myself. They helped me navigate Canada. And when I was sick. And many other times. And they drove me to the airport on my last day. I wouldn’t have made it without you. Thanks a billion for everything, @biscuit 🏳️‍🌈🩷

Woke up gay again, yaaaaay 🫶🏼

One year from today, my book, “Yes, I’m Still Here” comes out. Until then, I’m writing about some of the objects that survived the years inside it, starting with a dog tag I’ve carried through four countries and endless apartments, and a perfume I had to buy twice. Queer people are very good at making ordinary objects impossible to be neutral about. A shirt becomes a person. A perfume becomes a relationship. A song is suddenly banned from the aux for three years. What’s something you kept long after it stopped being just a thing?