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The private community app for gay, lesbian, bi, trans, and queer people. Find events, friends, networking, and more.

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Hey AFAB Enby and FTM trans friends, how do you find pants that don’t give you a wedgie? My ass isn’t super big but “men’s” pants sometimes give me the worst wedgie. 😫
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Write me something nice. The mood is shit
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I see a lot of people comparing this app to tumblr and I have yet to see one picture of david tenant on here. Our tumblrs were very different
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One drawing 95 percent close to completion, one sewing project done, and more non research related dialogue written. And similarly I’ve found 17 more grad schools to research. Took a while to get back to it, but I will take this as a win. Onto the next sewing project, start drafting the next drawing, and let’s continue writing more lines for the script. 😌
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Giving the Collective another go. Need some new friends fr. Say hi 🫶🏻
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Ok so I am 47. Just came out to myself less than a year ago. Been doing a LOT of soul searching, journaling, all the things (the cottage has figured heavily into my recent life lol). My question is this: is there anyone else out there coming out later in life like me? What was it like for you? What were those first few dates you went on like? What surprised you? Have you noticed that you are discovering other things about you that aren’t specifically “gay” but are definitely related to coming out to yourself and others?
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I have come to the realization that there is not a cure to depression.
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Hey, I’m new to this and wondered if there’s any fellow deaf guys on here like me? :)
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I feel like my granny using Facebook for the first time with this app lol
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Will be attending my first pride event since coming out… any advice?
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Am I alone here? I’m 28 years old, I’ve only been on a couple of “dates” with some guys, but I’ve never been able to get into a relationship that is romantic. I’ve never had a boyfriend and a part of me thinks where I am now, where I’m living, is not helping my situation. I’ve tried apps, but no one is my type. I’m starting to think that my type is beyond my reach and that my type would not be interested in someone that looks like me. It doesn’t help that although the community is inclusive by nature, you still encounter those select group of people who are very narrow minded and only want a guy who looks and thinks like them. They say they preach love, but will reject anyone or not give them the light of day unless they’re tall, of a certain background, and fit. I’m none of those two things and it doesn’t help that my culture is sometimes seen as a fetish. It doesn’t help that I live in a small city that’s fairly conservative. It makes me want to give up on the idea of falling in love. I see couples all around me a lot of them being my friends finding their chosen one and building a life together while I’m sitting alone here with my thoughts, I know I’m not the only one out there going through this. I just wanted to express how I’m feeling. I hope my person is out there and I know that timing is everything but right now I don’t feel a sense of optimism when it comes to love.
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I’ve never been to Italy, but it’s been on my list for a while. Where should I visit? Any and all recommendations welcome💛
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I feel your presence Like the moon feels the earth Like the leaf feels the sun Forever turning Forever pulling Brightening Darkening Towards your light and your shadow “Presence”
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I’m confused. To be told over and over we are going to have a wonderful life together and grow old together, I will follow you anywhere. To be told, no I won’t leave here, there is nothing there for me. Am I nothing? Was I ever anything Was it ever true? Three years seems like a long time to lie.
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Noes for Radical Living „Make friends with chaos Let things shake Forgive human frailty Champion second chances Defy unkindness Reverence fellowship Listen to the quiet Respect the young Seek growth Trust in change Treasure learning Inspire faith in evolution Reach beyond the binary Be wary of the doubtless Honour the bright-headed Grow plants Be electric Cherish language Dance daily Sing into pain Challenge assumptions Follow the wind Look upwards Face forward Read history Open your ears Drop your shoulders Bend your knees Raise the roof Keep breathing Be trustworthy Take care of yourself Believe in goodness Head for the light.“ by Tilda Swinton
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How to build a queer 15-minute city and find friends near you Have you heard of the 15-minute city? The dream is simple. Everything you need to thrive, like work, food, and culture, should be within a short walk or bike ride from your front door. While urban planners focus on bike lanes and grocery stores, we need to be enriching the social atmosphere within those 15 minutes. It is about giving a bit of yourself to the neighborhood, being seen to bring the other queers out of the woodwork. Becoming the neighborhood mother There is a specific kind of power in being the local expert. When you know which cafe has the best Wi-Fi for a Fake Gay Job co-working session or which park is the safest for a late-night walk, you become a source of shelter for the community. We should all strive to be the neighborhood mother who nurtures the social circle. It is about getting to know the people you see over and over again. It takes immersing yourself in your space until the other queers naturally come out of the woodwork. Scouting the nest and anchor cafes Creating a 15-minute queer city starts with identifying your anchors. The move is to find local cafes or bars and really invest in them. Talk to the owners, plan a social night, or simply make it your regular co-working spot. You may already have your own anchors, but it might be worth asking around your Collective matches in the area. The queers may be hanging out in the cafe a couple of doors down from your usual spot. When you and your queer friends decide on a shared anchor, you’re creating a space where people can show up without a plan and know there is someone to talk to. By establishing multiple third spaces, like the park where you do yoga, the run club on the corner, or the bookstore with the good lighting, your 15-minute social city actually comes to life. Navigating the urban sprawl struggle Not everyone lives in a dense, walkable city center. If your city is car-centric or the public transport is a nightmare, building a 15-minute queer city requires a different kind of intentionality. In these spaces, the move is to find the hubs. Look for a place with everything located just one trip away. It also takes showing up. If your city isn't walkable, support the lone cafe that has popped up in your neighborhood to keep them around and start the movement. Use Collective to find other queers in your specific suburb and find a midpoint. Whether it is a specific trailhead or a suburban coffee shop, creating a local stronghold is even more vital when the geography is working against you. Head to the Discussions tab and post about a local business you want to support or a new spot you’ve been dying to try. Ask the members nearby where the next anchor should be. Get closer to the 15-minute social city of your dreams.
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Olà my name es Àngel Lopez, just figured to try this app out
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so when u have a crush how do u act and how do u feel?
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Has anyone here gone through a process of choosing a stage name for their artistic career? I’ve been struggling with it for a while, would love to hear your experiences
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I joined Threads wanting to have a conversation and I left Threads realizing no one wants to have one.
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Best/worst experiences in the modeling industry? How has it affected your body image?
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I hate being the “head of the household” as a married lesbian couple in this day in age. What do you mean I have to start working minimum 80 hours a week just to afford groceries, gas, my rent, plumbing etc.?! Honestly what’s the point of life if I spend 90% of it working like a dog for dogs?? Like I give tf up man…
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As a middle age gay guy I find a bit intoxicating the idea that the body image is still pivotal when it comes to make new acquaintances. What is your opinion about it? And thank you. 🙂
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Someone take me to Fire island 🙇🏾‍♂️
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Why do other gay don’t like me? I feel like they all had a secret chat with out me and I’m now excluded?
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Breaking news: im finally going thru my bday trip pics !!!
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I love seeing wisdom at work. Nothing like observing a change in behavior in response to experience.
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Does anyone else experience gender dysphoria but also not want to be the opposite gender? Like, I was born female and I don’t feel male but also I don’t feel fully “woman” if that makes sense. I identify as a non-binary woman but also I feel like “looking” female can be suffocating.
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What’s your favourite album you have discovered this year. Could be a new release or new to you?
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Why gays take 4-3 weeks to reply to a message on a dating up? Can someone explain? So frustrating!
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I might be too domesticated ..
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I work with my ex and now we avoid each other but it hurts a ton. We work 5 days a week together and changing my schedule isn’t an option. How do I process the fact that it’s all over and they want nothing to do with me now? Or at least they act like they want nothing to do with me. Any advice is appreciated :) For context: I ended things two months ago but they left for a month and got back yesterday. I didn’t want to end the relationship but I had to even though I still love them. They weren’t communicating or working on their avoidance. They didn’t respect me or my feelings and they treated my pretty badly after love bombing me.
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I know everyone has their own preferences when it comes to dating. The first thing most of us notice is how someone looks, and then comes their personality and everything else. Sometimes I wish there was another way to meet people besides endlessly swiping on dating apps. What I don't understand is this: if you swipe right on me, I'm assuming you liked what you saw (my face, obviously 😅). So why match if you're not going to reply or even try to have a conversation? Especially when your profile says you're looking for a relationship, dating, or a genuine connection. And then there are the people whose profiles say one thing but they actually only want hookups. It honestly feels like a waste of time. Lately, swiping just feels pointless. I'm starting to wonder if I'm looking for something that isn't even there anymore. I don't really know what to do, and part of me just wants to give up on looking for someone.
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my brain feels nice and foldy again after having deleted tiktok. like everyone is so fundamentally unhappy bc their attention is being jerked away from them every ten seconds to experience heightened emotion as a substitute for real life human experience. like i have started to read a lot more and it feels so fulfilling to nurture my curiosity with dedication and deep understanding rather than cheap summary
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Remember when everyone was up in arms because Tinky Winky had a triangle on their head? And that somehow meant… gay…? lol things were so much simpler then…
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— Monday, June 29, 2026 - 7:09 am — Joined: April 2026 (~3 Months) Following: 108 Followers: 34 Posts: 22
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I haven’t really posted about it on here, but I’ve been writing a fantasy adventure novel over the last several months. I finished the first draft (83k words) two days ago and just sent it out to a small batch of test readers. I’m both excited and terrified right now. 🙃
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blocking anyone that posts an ai image is a very healing process to me 💫
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What’s a good show with lgbt stories in it? Have watched Elite 😭 and obviously heated rivalry but need more shows to feel feels
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Anyone in here trying to makes friends ?
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: Today marks ten years without alcohol, and while I’ve written before about the love I felt for all my past selves, on this day as I think about the last time I ever drank and the years prior, I’m channeling my love on just one. Love for the reckless one. The one who once felt like wasted potential. It had been the end of a fourteen-day bender when I took stock of where my habits had led me. I couldn’t help but connect the streak of blacked out weekends with everything that was ailing me both physically and mentally. I remember those sixteenth months of a depressive episode that seemed to have no end. My body is still marked with signs of that era: a scar on my face I don’t remember getting, a fractured hip bone from a drunken fall through my apartment’s roof. Countless times before, I’d entertain the thought of giving up drinking, but I couldn’t let go of the euphoria it would bring despite how short it would last. Despite the toll drinking took on my body, despite the shame and anxiety I would feel the mornings after when memories of the embarrassing, violent things I had done would start to piece together, I held onto the delusion that all of this was okay. Every drink became a way to fall deeper into that delusion, but that summer morning, I decided to face the truth head-on. It was scary to admit my recklessness. To recall every stupid thing I had done and said. To feel regret knowing what I could have been had I never drunk. What I’ve learned from these years of sobriety is how scary sincerity can be, especially when it comes to being sincere to oneself. I can think of so many times where I was caught in delusions of denial and insecurity, where it felt easier to run away than to take an honest look at myself. But facing the shame gets easier each time. I’ve chosen the clarity of feeling every emotion that makes me human, even the painful ones, for I’ve seen how they’ve grown into something beautiful. So today I feel humility. I feel grace. I feel love. Love for the reckless one who had the courage to be sincere. For the one who recognized that a life without drinking still contained so much potential.
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I miss when people said bae a lot. Let’s bring bae back 😮‍💨
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I just moved to Orlando a little over a month ago and had to go no contact with my immediate family because of my queerness. (Literally had to escape the cult I grew up in) I’m with extended family that accepts and understands me but I’m still so lonely. I love that I’m able to be who I am but at the same time I hate how lonely my choice to live my life has made me. 😞
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Lately, all the guys I liked are people from IRL, but the thing is I am not sure if they are gay, I already misinterpreted a friends kindness, why is this so common?
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Email, email, rooftop patio. Another email, beach, beach, rooftop patio. Another email at 9:00 o’clock Log off
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I've been seriously thinking about getting a tattoo for a while now.
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Hallo Leute ! Wer ist morgen alles beim Robyn Konzert in Berlin ?
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There should be a dating app for people who love bookstores more than clubs. Right?
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Nervous to be on here! I'd love to show my face and more of who I am, but at the same time I'd like to keep this anonymous for now. I'm not sure who will even see this but I'd love to meet peole who feel similar!
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The greatest thing about being an adult is the constant memory fog that shows up at the most inopportune time 😩😆
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Discussions on Collective

Browse conversations and discussions from our community of 140,000+ gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer members. See what LGBTQ+ people are talking about, share your thoughts, and join the conversation. Collective is the gay friends app where you can connect with like-minded people, discover local queer events, find travel buddies, join interest groups, and more. Download the app to join for free.

The private community app for LGBTQ+ friends, networking, events and more.
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